After you have kids, there is an identity crisis that comes and it knocks most, most mothers over. Most people don’t realize just how much you give as a parent because you are putting yourself and who you are to one side so that you can start this whole new identity.
You identify as a mother and everything that you think and everything that you do revolves around your children, which is exactly how it should be, is one of the most beautiful things you can ever do in life. And yet there is something of a reclamation that needs to happen at some stage so that you can remember that before you were a mother, you were still a person. Finding yourself after motherhood happens in so many different ways, and it doesn’t mean you put aside being a mother, it just means that you reclaim who you are.
Whether it’s going back to work and remembering that you had a career and dreams before you had children, whether it’s rediscovering new dreams after you’ve had children and being influenced by the fact that you want your children to be proud of you. There are many changes that you can make to find yourself again after motherhood. Let’s take a look at how you can do it.
- Sit down and really think about what you want. For some people, reclamation comes with the physical side of motherhood. When you are pregnant and then you give birth, your whole body changes. So a Mommy Makeover that you might pay for can help you to reclaim who you were and bring back some of that confidence that you once had. But you need to think about what it is you want to reclaim about yourself. Is it to elevate who you were so that your children will feel proud of you? Is it to make sure that you have something to do after your children have gone out into the world? Either way, you need to sit down with a pen and paper and write down what it is that you truly want.
- Get out of the house. Sometimes you need to be in nature and away from the house and all of the things in it so that you can think about what it is that makes you feel happy in life. When you’re a stay at home parent, you could easily feel trapped all day long because your life is a revolving door of nappies, feeds and sleep. Your whole being is consumed with when is nap time and when is eating time and when is nappy time and when is tummy time. Getting out of the house can make a big difference and it can help you to pull yourself through the forest of parenthood.
- Define yourself. You are a mother. Everybody will see that you have children and that will become your definition in their eyes. But you are more than motherhood. Motherhood is a part of you, but it doesn’t have to be your whole self. You have to be the one to define who you are in that postpartum identity crisis. Life changes a lot when you become a parent, but it’s important to know that there’s no need to sacrifice Everything. It’s not about sacrifice, it’s about pressing pause before restarting.
A penny for your thoughts?